This blog has been neglected for far too long, and there are reasons that have prevented me from doing much with it. For anybody that happens to stumble across these words, I'll go ahead and explain why I chose to quote a Led Zepplin song.
I signed divorce papers this last week, and my wife of thirty years and I have decided to go our separate ways. I would imagine that that line caused one of two reactions; Emotional - but please don't feel sorry or sadness for either one of us- or, Analytical, as in what the hell happened?
I think that we all try to find the root cause of issues, and I know that I've spent the last 8 months going over every moment that we shared; every mistaken emotion or misunderstanding; every inflection or action that may have had a deeper meaning than what we had originally misdiagnosed.
Trust me. I've thought them all over, and even talked with a number of people about them. It always comes down to the phrase, "Well, I wasn't there with you guys," or "I would need to hear the other side of the story." Always. I'll respond to that by saying that nobody should have to go through the levels of emotional hurt that go along with something like this, but so many people (couples) do. It's becoming more and more common, and I had honestly never thought that I would be a statistic for divorce.
I've also noticed that everyone either wants to cast their opinion into the mix, or doesn't want to get involved at all. All or nothing, and the list is short of those that would just be willing to listen, and let me get ideas, thoughts or questions out of my head and off my chest. I'm thankful for those people, and will never be able to express how much their presence has meant to me.
When it's all said and done, though, and when you've run out of questions to ask, or things to ponder or discuss, you come to that crossroad of What Do I Do Now. Left, right, straight. . .I try not to ever go backwards.
So, I go on. New dreams. Different plans. Different ways to allocate my time. New people to spend my time with. Stronger focus, and better attention to life's little details. Time to move on, and go forward.
It's been a long time since I rock n rolled.
It's been a long, lonely lonely lonely. . .lonely time.